Dealing with the grandparents, inlaws, hubbies

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A failsafe mother wrote

Every time I catch up with my parents they go on about how much this diet is depressing them …  It's really wearing me down … they keep getting stuck with snacks and kids saying they're hungry - any advice? – J

Most failsafers face problems with difficult relatives at some stage, so we were impressed by the supportive answers that were offered on the facebook group. See below  from story [1499]:

  • Give the GRANDPARENTS some appropriate treats - few packs of musk sticks, pear lollipops and marshmallows will give them something safe to 'sneak' to the kids, so they can maintain their special grandparently relationship without feeling tied down to the boring foods you provide for those days. Also, invite them to watch the DVD, perhaps, and explain that this is a testing process, not a diet for life … The stricter you can all be, the quicker you will get them through the process - Stephanie

  • Do what Stephanie said, then say to them:

“I know it is, and I really appreciate your support. It means a lot” - Rachael

  • My mum was the same as it was in her nature to feed and spoil him and she was finding it hard. Now she has a stash of stuff in the cupboard like Aldi cream water biscuits, various failsafe Arnotts biscuits including shortbread cream, failsafe chips, Sakata rice crackers, Milkybar chocolate. When he goes there they bake cupcakes together and she lets him lick the bowl etc … . I make a point of not letting him lick the bowl at home because he thinks it is funny and special to tell me Oma let him do it at her house … they have their little things they do together - Fran

  • I'd say:

“I know it's hard, I do it 7 days a week. So hopefully you can see how important it is to me!” - Kathy

  • After trying the nice approach and some family members completely disregarding my requests and disrespecting me as mum, I just blatantly said nope sorry you can't be alone with my kids. They were shocked and defensive and I said I can't trust you and I don't want people I can't trust to be in charge of my kids. They changed their tune pretty quickly - and have never once had an issue since. It isn't my job to be delicate in fear of hurting people’s feelings, it's my job to do what's best for my kids and I take that pretty seriously. Many might disagree but this was pretty crucial for us - Ash

  • After challenges my mum had dd for the weekend once and gave her 160b... twice. I’ve honestly never had a problem with mum complying with any and all dietary requests since then - Rachael

  • Hubby thought I was ridiculous until he saw Jekyll and Hyde first hand - Christina

  • … Hubby went along with my crazy requests and made it through elimination and sals challenge but his heart wasn’t in it so we had “a week off” after sals challenge … no additives or take away. Just good, “healthy” home cooked food. The final morning as dd was rocking in front of the fireplace unable to … put her own socks on hubby walked over to the kitchen, removed the chocolate muffin from her lunchbox and replaced it with a pear muffin from the freezer. That’s when I knew he was really on board.

Some people just have to see it for themselves - Rachael

See the whole story [1499]

Another long thread offering ideas and support for this issue [1500]

Factsheet on Divorced families and coping with diet

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