My son (now nearly 4) was born early. He had lung problems which have led to recurring respiratory problems. We tried every kind of baby formula and ended up on soy formula. At nine months he had grommets in and adenoids out because of chronic glue ear. At eighteen months he had his tonsils out, at the time he was on three different types of antibiotics to keep him well enough to have the operation. His asthma is non allergic. This year he has done very well. Up until last week he had a clear run with only one lot of antibiotics up to date, and no asthma. I think that my problems started three weeks ago when I took my son off soy milk, because I heard that the oestrogens might have an effect on my boy.

To actually get him to drink cows milk I had to buy skimmed and put malted milk powder in it. It has taken three weeks for my son to turn into a monster and he has just had a dreadful week with his asthma - the first bout this year. Everybody else keeps telling me now he is a 'normal' boy. Two of my friends tell me that my son's behaviour is equal to that of their children and that is what they put up with all the time, and worse. I know they do. But I don't want to, and I have seen my son as a before and after. I want my old son back. Can you please tell me if there is any evidence that soy milk is so very damning, and detrimental to the health? Or perhaps point me in the right direction to find out more. Or suggest another alternative.

[For a scientific look at the effects of soymilk, see the link on my website to the Harvard Women's Health Centre. You will have to make up your own mind. Ricemilk is an alternative to cows milk and soymilk. It is best to buy calcium fortified if you can find it, or take a calcium supplement - you can ask your dietitian about nutrition.]